“First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.”
Proverbs 16:18 MSG
These past 3 weeks have taught me a thing or two about humility.
In an effort to "function," I have done things I never thought I
would do: Like crawling around on my hands and knees to get to the bathroom. At
the moment, it didn't seem humiliating at all. It seemed like a means to
survive--which I am very familiar with. I KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE.
And I am also familiar with struggle. So this broken ankle just seemed like one
more “thing” that I needed to overcome. No big deal, right? "I got
this!" But did I really?...
One of the biggest fallacies, I believe, in being an independent
woman is not knowing how to ask for help. We're so used to doing it ourselves
that we literally shun away any assistance that could make the struggle a
little less of a struggle. We pile on way too much on our plate and contend
with trying to balance it all. Like a toddler who wants to be independent, we
meander along, wobbling, grasping...FALLING, for no good reason. All because we
refused to release the pride and allow people to help. But you know what the
real kicker is? We never open our mouths to get fed; yet we're mad at everyone
for not knowing that we're hungry! Crazy, right?! But that's exactly what we
do.
But this is what I know for sure; there is no growth in pride.
Pride keeps you stuck and consumed with guarding your image or your emotions
and doesn't allow space for you to be enriched by the assistance others can
offer you. Why would you continue to drown when there is a rope being thrown
down to you for safety? I once heard someone say that EGO stood for
"Edging God Out." Yikes! I'm not interested in doing that AT ALL. So
while I'm in this season of convalescence, I'm taking notes, studying the
lessons and laying aside my pride.
#FeetUpFaithUp
Tangie
Mother's Day Thoughts From Inspired Sistah
So, it's that time of year again. The time
where we hail accolades to the women who birthed us or raised us or mothered us
in some kind of way. But what happens when those mothering experiences were
fragmented, at best? What do you do with those emotions that you're supposed to
have, but struggle to make them surface? These are questions that I have
wrestled with all of my adult life. I an still very much a little girl who
wants her Mommy, but have never been able to fully connect with older women who
were supposed to nurture and guide me, including my own mother. Now before you
judge me, understand that it wasn't for a lack of effort on my part. It just
seemed that "Mother" was too busy fighting her own demons or nursing
her own wounds and insecurities to be able to fully invest in our
So to every child stuck in limbo on this day, unsure of what to do with your emotions, I encourage you to lay them at the Master's feet. Allow God to massage your tender heart and bandage your raw emotions. He is the God of all comfort. He is able to fill that gaping void, and when you least expect it, He will help lay the foundation for restoration, forgiveness & love.
Pray: Father, as Daughters who may have felt the rejection of our Mother's love, we submit our hurt, disappointment, resentment, judgment, anger, shame & guilt to you. We ask that you would heal our brokenness and restore us to the place where we can love without abandon. Thank you for your promise of healing and we accept this challenge. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Too Many Tabs Open
The other day I drove into my neighborhood of 12 years,
pulled into the driveway, pushed the button on the garage door remote several
times and was totally baffled as to why the garage door would not open. It took
me longer than it should have to figure out that I was in the wrong driveway. I
was not at my house. Sigh...
Sunday, while driving to church, I completely missed my exit.
Not because I didn't know where I was going. Not because I was on the phone or
fiddling with the radio. It was simply because my mind was flitting from one
topic to another. And while I was physically in the car, my mind was elsewhere.
Sigh...
Yesterday, while making coffee at work, I turned on the
machine but forgot to put the carafe under the spout. Coffee went everywhere.
And guess what? I was standing right there, scrolling through my mental Rolodex
thinking about what I was going to do after I had my coffee. Sigh...
In all of these instances, I had too many tabs open.
In all of these instances, I had too many tabs open.
You know how you're operating your computer and you have
several applications or browser tabs open, bouncing back and forth between each
one? Well, that same thing can happen in our lives. We call it multitasking. We
think we're killing two (or three) birds with one stone. We think we're getting
more done. But in actuality, we're over-processing our brains...over-processing
our lives.
I know I'm not alone when I share this. Many of us are managing so many things in our lives: Family, Careers, Businesses, Ministry, etc. And with so many obligations and expectations, it's difficult not to feel pulled in a million directions. In our Facebooking, Intagramming, Candy Crushing, TV Drama-Loving Society, how could we possibly stay focused on any one thing for an extended period of time? Our meals are rushed. Our prayers are rushed. Our commute is rushed. And our life is RUSHED! May I suggest that we go and have several seats? Please and thank you!
For several months, God has been dealing with me about de-cluttering. Not just my office or my email, but de-cluttering my thought-life, as well. He has been challenging me to eliminate the things that are distracting me from staying focused on what that He has called me to. You see, when we're encumbered with so much, we are not able to be completely available for our purpose. Or we miss the “God Moments” where He is really trying to show us something that will help enhance our lives and lead us into the “good life” that He has predestined for us (Eph. 2:10, Amp). At times, we find ourselves like Martha in Luke 10:38-42, worried about so many nebulous details and totally missing the “one thing that is needful” that Mary discovered. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend another year full of activities, but with very little fruit to show for it. I am in a season of paring down my activities so that I can be fully attentive to the “needful” things and see the full manifestation of everything God has in store for me.
Those mishaps I mentioned earlier were, I believe, a clear
sign that I am doing way too much and that it’s time for me to scale back and
close some of these tabs. One way that I have begun to do that is by practicing
“mindfulness.” I am challenging myself to give my FULL attention to whatever it
is I am doing until I have completed the task. So, if I’m talking on the phone,
I resist the urge to jump on the computer at the same time. If I am reading an article, I resist the urge
to respond to a Twitter notification. Believe
me when I tell you, it has not been easy.
But in my times of struggle, I picture myself in my neighbor’s driveway
trying to let the garage door up. SMH! Again, I know God has big things in
store for me and I do not want to miss it.
So I think it’s time to close some of these tabs!
And I challenge you to join me. ;-)
Gratitude Check
Can you believe it is mid-February, already?! I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’ve been
feeling a little “rushed.” I mean, I
have several projects that I desire to complete in the first quarter of this
year, alone. And I feel like I’m running out of time. This feeling of having more projects than
time contributed to me starting to feel a little overwhelmed and disgruntled.
At the end of my day, I would find myself rehearsing all of the things that I
didn’t get done or that went wrong. I
knew this was not right and I that I needed to get myself
So I’m curious, do you keep a Gratitude Journal? If so, how has it helped you? Or, if you plan to begin one, I would love to
know about it. ;-)
I consider myself a life-long learner. I look for lessons in even the minutest
experiences. I want to live a rich,
fulfilling life, so I’m always in search of ways to do that. Like many of you, 2014 brought with it some
challenges as well as triumphs. Regardless,
it was ALL good. So I’d like to share
with you just a few of the things that I either learned or RE-learned in
2014. Feel free to share yours, as well:
1. Everything does not warrant your response.
3. No one benefits from you playing small.
4. Fear is sometimes wrapped in pride.
5. Sometimes letting go doesn't always mean there is a loss.
6. Everything you need is already inside of you.
7. Show up...for yourself & others.
8. Don't discount your journey. Embrace ALL of it.
9. Obey the longings of your heart. They are a gift from God.
10. The only difference between you & them is ACTION.
11. They're going to talk anyway, so give them something good to say.
12. Trust the process.
13. Your excuses are a house to your fears.
14. Laziness is expensive.
15. External validation leaves you empty.
16. Procrastination is a dream killer.
17. Just because you're shining doesn't mean everyone will embrace your light.
18. Add value. Speak life.
19. Do what matters.
20. Discipline is the key to success.
21. Sometimes the bad comes before the good.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of celebrating my girlfriend's 50th birthday. Her party was a Mardi Gras theme, so most of the attendees wore masks. It was very interesting to interact with people, not really knowing who they were until they revealed themselves. It got me to thinking about how, many of us, in or day-to-day lives, wear "masks." They may not be elaborate as the ones we wore Saturday night, but they are masks, nonetheless. We go through great lengths to minimize our chances of being "seen." Not externally, but internally. We're afraid to allow people to see the "real" us. We somehow think that if we're vulnerable, we must be weak.
That is so far from the truth. Our ability to be transparent is what makes us effective. We can serve at a greater capacity if we lose the masks of pretension, pride, arrogance, fear, low self-esteem, etc. Instead, our gifts will illuminate and not be dimmed in the spotlight of our masks. You know the other interesting thing about the mask? It was uncomfortable! No matter how I pulled, tugged or adjusted it, it felt better OFF than on. And the same can be said about the proverbial masks we may wear on a daily basis. Although not readily admitted, being on guard or in hiding is uncomfortable, not to mention exhausting! So what's the solution? Tell everybody all of your business?! Of course not! But what I do recommend is that you practice being genuine. If you're afraid or lonely or sad or happy to see someone, say so (in the appropriate context, of course). Don't allow your fear of other people's opinions to turn you into a robot. The real gift in unmasking is the rich ability to connect with people on a greater level, thus increasing your effectiveness & ability to utilize your gifts to their highest potential. I don't know about you, but I think that is well worth un-masking. Healthy Sistahs Rock!
The Healthy Sistahs Rock™ Motivational Mix is AVAILABLE NOW!
Two years ago when I embarked on my healthy lifestyle journey for the final time, I had no idea what would transpire. All I knew is that I was tired of business as usual and I wanted…no, I NEEDED a change.
Inspired by my transformation, my husband wrote the songs
and my beautiful friend, Gabbie McGee blessed us with her vocals. They were kind enough to allow me to say a
few words, and thus, The Healthy Sistahs Rock™ Motivational Mix was
birthed.
It is an EP
filled with smooth
sounds, hot beats and no-nonsense candor that will encourage you to not only
win in your physical health, but in your emotional and spiritual health, as
well.
It is available on
most digital distribution outlets (iTunes, Amazon, Google Play) or you can
purchase or download it from: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/healthysistahsrock
But, if you’d like
an AUTOGRAPHED copy, click on the PayPal link below or send an email request
to: rockmehealthy@gmail.com and I will personally sign and mail it to
you within a week.
Thank you so much
for your love, prayers and support.
Healthy Blessings,
Tangie
P.S. Once you take
a listen, I’d love to know your thoughts!
The Benefits of Strength Training for Women
Many women shy away from resistance training because they believe that they will look too masculine. Wrong!!
Think: Michelle Obama & Angela Bassett. Still not convinced you should pick up a few weights? Here are a few of the benefits of strength-training for women:
1. It improves your bone density, which for women is a HUGE deal as we age & develop a risk for osteoporosis (think hump back).
2. It burns more fat & increases lean body mass. So whether you're a size 2 or a size 22, you can benefit from having a lower body fat percentage.
3. It tones & shapes your body. Cardio is fine for a high calorie burn, but strength-training helps shape your body.
4. It is a mood stabilizer. Having a bad day? Instead of reaching for that slice of cheesecake, reach for a dumbbell instead. The endorphin boost will be amazing...with no lingering calories.
5. It decreases your risk of developing Diabetes (by increasing your insulin production) and Heart Disease (because of its aerobic benefits).
6. It increases your aerobic functioning. So for those who love cardio, strength training can actually improve your aerobic ability.
Happy Lifting!
#HealthySistahsRock
I Am Not My Hair
I grew up with a large amount of emphasis being placed on how my hair looks. I began going to the beauty salon when I was just 4 years old. I can remember sitting on stacks of telephone books while under the dryer in order to be able to fit. And as a young woman, I was known for having long, beautiful hair that was often mistaken for a weave. Honestly, my physical appearance and specifically, my hair, was something I took great pride in and attributed my value to. So, imagine my dismay when I began to lose my hair in my late 20's. I sought out treatment, tried different medications & techniques, and even considered a hair transplant. All to no avail. Over the course of time and a lot of money later, I've been able to find a sufficient solution, but the emotional weight is still present.
India.Arie has a wonderful song called, "I am Not My Hair."
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
While I have often be disturbed by the judgment (good or bad) that has been placed upon me by others about how my hair looks, of late, what I find even more disturbing is the judgment I continue to place upon myself. And before you're quick to offer a pat answer, until you walk this journey, you can't know my struggle.
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So, I wanted to share my story because I know that there are thousands of women who are struggling with apparent (or not so apparent) physical shortcomings, even if they don't readily admit it. In fact, I've found that those who struggle the most, do THE MOST to try to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy. Ask me how I know. ;-)
BUT HERE IS MY MESSAGE TO YOU:
You are enough & you have enough! You were created in the image and likeness of a God who loves you intensely and intimately. Nothing you can say, do or wear can change that. Accept every imperfection as a gift. A gift to fully empower you to serve, love and give in a greater capacity.
While I would have chosen the course of my life to take on a different path, I am so go grateful for this life and the opportunity God gives me daily to inspire women to live abundant, successful lives regardless of their imperfections.
Excerpt from: "Living Fearless & Free: A Woman's Guide to Health & Happiness" By Tangie Henry
Copyright 2014. All Rights Reserved.
I Run for Chocolate
Sha-Rhonda: "Your goals have to supersede your feelings."
Nataisha: "It's not about me. It's about serving a greater purpose."
Kenyatta: "I have proven them wrong!"
Tangie: "There's no competition, no deadlines; Just a life of health & wellness."
Tips to Getting (and Staying) Fit!
I speak to a lot of women who, for one reason or the other, have not been able to successfully stay on their fitness journey. Work…Husband…Kids…Life…all get in the way. And then I started to think about my own experience and wanted share a few tips that I picked up along the way:
I speak to a lot of women who, for one reason or the other, have not been able to successfully stay on their fitness journey. Work…Husband…Kids…Life…all get in the way. And then I started to think about my own experience and wanted share a few tips that I picked up along the way:
Show up for yourself because bosses don’t cancel.
Many times we are quick to run to the aid of our children or our best girlfriend, but fail to show up for ourselves. If our kids have football practice, we’re there. If there’s a meeting at work, we’re there. If our friend is having a baby shower, we’re there. Cancelling? Not an option. So why do we cancel important dates with ourselves like going to the gym three times a week or walking in the park after work? You have to realize that keeping your fitness appointments will enable you to be a better mother, employee and friend.
Pitch a spot in the NO EXCUSES zone.
Excuses keep you stuck. Stop letting yourself off of the hook. Develop a fitness schedule and make no room for excuses. When I first started working out, I would pack my gym bag and prepare my gym clothes the night before, even down to the headband that I was going to wear that day. That was important in creating a habit because, until my mind shifted, I didn’t need ANY distractions when it was time to work out. So you have to decide that you will leave no wiggle room or escape hatch when it comes to your fitness routine. No ifs, ands or BUTTs (pun intended) about it! ;-)
Make Fitness Non-Negotiable.
I remember I used to hear people say this and I would roll my eyes. How is it possible to make fitness non-negotiable when I have soooo many other things to do? Well, despite all of the things I have to do, I manage to brush my teeth and take a shower everyday. It doesn’t matter how tired I am or how busy I am, it gets done. You have to view your fitness activities the same way. Here’s a more practical example: I have sensitivity of my teeth. Because of that I use toothpaste with extra fluoride in it in addition to my regular toothpaste. So, in essence, I usually brush my teeth twice at any given setting. Do you know how time-consuming that is? Not to mention the added cost. But I would rather spend the extra time and money than have overly sensitive teeth. So on nights where I just want to hurry up and brush and go to bed, I think about the long-term ramifications of skipping that extra step. So it is with your workouts, not doing them should not be on a list of your options because the long-term effects of a lack of exercise are undesirable.
Have Fun!
Whether its skating, biking, weight-lifting, Zumba, Yoga, whatever, find something you enjoy and DO IT! Everyone may not have access to a gym or boot camp, but you probably have access to the great outdoors. Not an outdoors kind of girl? Then check out Wii Fit or the X-Box or your local cable provider for fun, innovative workouts. The point is, it should be enjoyable and not a chore.
We all pretty much understand the importance of daily exercise, but moving from excuses to action can be a bit of a challenge. Just know this, the quality of life that you long for is linked to you living in a healthy, fit body. Get moving, TODAY. You deserve it!
Healthy Blessings,
Tangie, RN
Inspirational Health Coach
Habits
Habits
I don't know whether it takes 14 days, 21 days or 30 days to form a habit. But I do know that if you do something repeatedly, it will eventually become second nature. Whether it's constructive (working out, going to bed early) or destructive (overeating, over-spending), habits are formed with consistent, frequent efforts. Currently, my habit is to get up pretty much every day & go to the gym. But before going to the gym was my habit, making excuses were. I made excuses about why I couldn’t work out consistently, how tired and how busy I was. But once I shifted my mindset and made the commitment to get it done, it’s now a part of my life.
As we are more than halfway into the new year, and beginning a new month, I want you to think about what kinds of things you have allowed to become a habit in your life? Are they constructive or destructive? Are they getting you closer to your goals or pushing you further away? The great thing is that, if you’re reading this, you have a new opportunity to continue on that path that you eagerly embarked upon in January. And remember, each day brings with it new chances to form new habits. Go get it!
Be Well,
Tangie
#HealthySistahsRock
The Balancing Act
The Balancing Act
It is difficult to give everything equal weight all of the time. But what you can do is be fully present in whatever role you’re in at the present. For example, during family time, engage: no cell phone, texting, or tweeting. At work, show up in your position and give it 100% for your contractual amount of hours. And when you’re done, or it’s time to move on to the next activity, walk away free.
Frustration can set in when we are straddling the “priority fence” and end up not feeling accomplished in any one area because we feel pulled in so many directions. We end our days exasperated and burned-out. It’s true, juggling several priorities can be a challenge, but here are a few tips to managing the balancing act:
1. Think about your priorities and let them be your compass.
- Fill in activities AROUND your priorities, not the other way around.
2. Don’t forget to schedule a date with yourself.
- You can’t be good to anyone until you learn how to be good to yourself.
3. Give yourself a break. All that matters is all that matters!
- Learn to free yourself from insignificant thoughts, relationships and activities.
Live Well,
Tangie
